It has been nearly 6 weeks since we have been here at my parents. It has been a very eventful and emotional time for all of us. I haven't really had a chance to write anything lately, nor have I even known what to say. Im still trying to get my head around everything that is happening and still try to do all the "normal" things in life that you still have to do and be sensible and practical. My Mum is always practical and just take things as they come. She is truly amazing.

The fact is is that my Mum is going to heaven soon. Any day now. She is at home with us now which is so lovely. She was in hospital for nearly 7 weeks, but came home last Thursday to be with us.

I love my Mum so much and I am still struggling to come to terms with what is really happening. There are 7 children in our family and we are all a great support to each other which is really comforting.

My girls have been pretty good. I just love how kids are so honest and how they can bring a smile to your face even when things feel like crap. Annabel said to me the other day. "Mummy, heaven is where the sun shines". It was so sweet. She comforts me when Im sad saying "Mummy, dont worry, everything will be alright". The other day I asked her what she was going to tell my Mum. She whispered in my ear "Jesus loves you". I thought that was really sweet so I asked her what else she was going to say, and she whispered in my ear again "Its in God's book". Then she looked me straight in the eye and then just ran off and played. I couldn't believe it when she said that. Ever since my Mum got sick 2 and half years ago, I have always thought of Psalm 139 and how it says that all our days were written in God's book before one of them came to be. I wrote it out in a card to my Mum. I hadn't told Annabel, as I thought she is to little to understand. But when she said that it just blew me away. How did she know? And how did she know that we needed to come down to see my Mum before her health was critical? Its a God thing.

All these little things help me to know that God is in control. But I still feel like crap because I still need my Mum. She has always been there. I speak to her twice a day on the phone when Im not with her. I would fly down every 6-8 weeks to see her. She has just always been there and it is so hard to think that soon she wont be. But I guess God knows that it will be ok. I guess its God that I need. But I am sick of guessing. He can work it all out for me.

So all that said I think I might go to bed. I am so tired, but one thing that I am thankful for is that Adam is here with us. His boss let him come down here 3 weeks ago and work out of the offices down here for the time being. What an awesome boss.

I love my Mum. I just love her so very much......